Airstrip One

Carville capers

The Sunday Mail was breathless yesterday in reporting that Clinton's attack dog James Carville is going to be helping Blair. Blair better think twice.

Carville's had a rotten run of luck recently, Al Gore lost despite running on a truly succesful economy (not Gore's fault it must be said), Barak lost big in Israel despite running against the most hardline and tainted candidate imaginable. And then there's Mexico, where his support of the ruling party seemed to jinx them as well - for the first time in seventy years.

His links in Mexico may also point to another problem for Labour if they take on these dameaged goods. The PRI, as must have been known to the Ragin' Cajun, is up to its neck in drugs money. How much of this man's $5 million fortune originated from kickbacks from heroin traffikers? None if he got paid by results, I suppose.

There was one place he scored a win, Trinidad and Tobago! Yes folks, if Blair has trouble winning Middlesborough District Council, then he may have found a stage suitable for Mr Carville's obviously diminished talents. Two things must be said here, firstly the ruling party seemed to win (narrowly) by the help of election irregularities, and needless to say that this island is not known for the distance that local politicians keep from local drug dealers.

His performance in that land of clean government, Panama, is even murkier - but surely profitable to even the most half-witted Tory hatchet man.

There are a number of other bits of welcome information on the attack dog. Whether it is his links with the mob through Paul Begala (as well as his fondness for threatening to "kneecap opponents on national TV), or his trouble telling the truth to the taxman, Mr Carville will definately add an exotic edge to Mr. Blair's campaign, if the Tories have the nerve to expose him.

No one I know is predicting a Tory victory this time, although with the hapless Carville on the case Hague may have a better chance than we all think.

Come on Carville, Britain needs you!