Airstrip One

Fat Pang of the Remove

With his owlish features and acknowledged desire to reinforce the low opinion held of him in Britain, Chris Patten has decided to respond to the mocking remarks that almost propelled Jack Straw into the Eurorealist camp.

After spending so many years away from home, he appears to have developed the thin skin that you expect from the proselytisers of victimhood, rather than an ex-Tory Minister. He has taken up his pen and written a response to Straw explaining that his words are "inappropriate" and have caused offence. Who ever said that Europeans didn't have a sense of humour!

The Guardian article is green stuff, as their recycling mentality has been extended to the news and the environment. Thankfully, Euractiv had more detail on the missive. Chris Patten praises the efforts of the Euro-pygmies in bringing the benefits of Yoorp to natives crying out for subsidies and a dependency culture:

While underling that there is no Commission ambition to become "some sort of twenty sixth Member State", Patten goes on to praise the work that the 123 Commission delegations carry out in "detailed trade and other negotiations [...] high quality political and economic reporting [...] delivering over 5 billion Euro's of external and development assistance in support of the EU's agreed goals [...] in places as far-flung and as difficult as Afghanistan, Somalia and New Guinea".

Patten has demonstrated that his antennae no longer follow British politics. Ensconced in Europe for too many years, he cannot recognise the flanking rhetoric of a Europhile government. Unless he longs for Charles Kennedy as PM, he has long drifted away from the orbit of the Tory party.

What is more shameful: the sight of a former Tory gone native, reduced to ridicule; or the mugging of Eurosceptic discourse by a government that wants to be a part of Europe and propagandise a myth of sovereignty on the home front. Patten is a disgrace to all former Tories, amongst whom, I include myself.

(22.50, 9th May 2004)